Day 66: Some extremely sad news,should I quit the blog??

1 09 2011

Hi everyone!

Today hasn’t been the easiest day for me, in fact it has probably been one of the hardest days I have had to face since this journey of mine began. As most of you know in 2009 i underwent surgery on both legs for compartment syndrome and stress fractures on my shin bones. After the surgery the healing process hasn’t exactly gone to plan. My shins haven’t healed as fast as originally thought and are actually back to the same amount of pain as what i had before surgery.

I mentioned a bit last night about my knee injury and how it bothered my workout quite a bit during yesterdays session. Well I had already scheduled an appointment for my shins today with my specialist and asked him about my knees as well. He did a few tests and then looked at me with deep discern and told me that I had a serious problem. He said that my knees are totally shot, all of the cartilage has broken down and it may be the start of arthritis. Apparently cartilage has no feeling so the reason it has become so bad without me noticing is because I couldn’t feel any pain. But now that it has gone right through to the bone, it is very serious and something that surgery cannot fix.

Of course I was in absolute shock when I heard this as I was expecting him to say keep off it for a week. Well a lot more serious than I thought. I have been told no running, no cycling, no lower body weights, the only thing I can do is aqua jogging! That’s it!! I can head in to the gym for upper body weights but that is all. He told me if I do not listen to his advice I will be very very sorry as this will affect my ability to walk in the future.

So with this said I went straight to the car and have been in tears ever since. This is the last thing I expected to hear especially as I was just getting back on track with everything??? I just don’t understand how one person can have such bad luck with their health it doesn’t make sense?? I thought about quitting the blog but that made me feel even worse so what I have decided to do is aqua jog every day, and really control what I am eating now. I am joining a 12 week nutrition education class which starts in a week i think, so that will help me a lot.

So I may not be able to run that half marathon at the end of my challenge but I am still determined to look and feel good at the end of it all. I want to be able to wear little shorts and singlets at the beach and not cover up with a lava lava and baggy t-shirt. I want to be able to feel good when I go out shopping for clothes, instead of leaving the mall feeling disgusting. I want to be able to stand tall and proud next to my skinny little Dio friends and not feel like I need to hide behind a wall!

Well this is all for today. I am not exercising tonight, I have pulled out of my Thursday evening netball team, and I am going to enjoy a nice meal with my family for comfort. I will let you know what my plan is tomorrow.

Love J.L

x

 

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